North Georgia in Crisis

This week North Georgia faced a crisis of mammoth proportions...so to speak. The remains of Bigfoot were found. But, alas, it wasn't Bigfoot, but a costume in a freezer surrounded by apparent earthen particles, purportedly from its final resting place.

The news media immediately went into crisis mode with special reports and breaking news. The Internet buzzed with news articles, and controversy surrounded the two men, one a metro Atlanta cop, who perpetrated this monster hoax on poor, unsuspecting Bigfoot hunters and lovers. Searching for Bigfoot, Inc. in California, which had payed the two upwards of fifty thousand dollars(you read it right, $50,000)for "the body," filed a lawsuit to recover their money. A spokesperson for the organization said, “If this was a joke, it was very methodical and thought-out."

The police officer, on leave after being shot in the line of duty, was fired by his department after it was inundated by phone calls and emails about the Bigfoot find. According to the Atlanta Journal, which has provided comprehensive coverage of this story:

"As soon as he heard Whitton’s Bigfoot was a big fake, “I terminated him,” Police Chief Jeffrey Turner said Tuesday.

“He’s disgraced himself, he’s an embarrassment to the Clayton County Police Department, his credibility and integrity as an officer is gone, and I have no use for him,” Turner said. “His behavior is unbecoming of that of a police officer."'

I am certainly glad that someone took decisive action on this issue. Chief Turner has shown that he can made a decision and follow through. Presidential material, I say. The experience it takes to be in the oval office, when that call comes in on the red phone at three a.m.

Chief Turner has it well in hand, but he can't do it all. The very thought of someone brazen enough to do such a dastardly deed chills me to the bone. To think that right here in our midst there are two men, one an officer of the law, who preyed upon innocent and unsuspecting Americans. It's enough to make me sick to my stomach.

Once they get their phone system back up after all those hacked phone calls to the Middle East and Asia, I hope that Homeland Security will get involved, so that we will not again be bothered by such terrorist activity. Make us safe again President Bush, please make us safe! Who knows what danger lurks in the minds of men.